First of all, thank you for actually having me.
Thank you for spanking me when I did something to deserve it.
You taught me that there were serious consequences to my actions, and those consequences, while painful, could have been deadly to myself or someone else if not put in check.
Thank you for not selling me, when I showed allot of rebellion and got into serious mischief
Thank you that you listened to me, you told me everything that went on with bills, jobs, what we could and couldn’t afford and why.
Thank you for having patience with me when I went through my teens! You really became gray there!
There was nothing more that I wanted in life than to make you proud of me, and to never hear that I had disappointed you
Thank you for sacrificing some of your dreams to give me a good, comfortable life.
To my Mom, thank you for the strange,almost acid twisted sense of humor and view of everything in my life. Its made getting through tough times easier (if not more amusing), I find it thrilling to read you things and utmost devotion to those you love. Thanks for the advice and your bulldog tenacity to protect your children.
To my Dad; thank you for giving me the edge to always keep fighting to keep my head above water. Your death has left a huge empty space in my life .... I miss you.
Thanks Pappa (Menis Martin Scholtz - R.I.P) and Mommy (Barbara Jean Buchanan-Scholtz- Patton)
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
"Would you like to say the blessing, dear?"
The girl replied, "I wouldn't know what to say."
The wife answered, "Just say what you hear Mommy say."
The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?'
The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!
Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name? One child answered, "Mary."
The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?
A little kid said, "Verge."
Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
The kid said, "Well, you know, they're always talking about Verge n'Mary."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
