Do you ever feel like you’re living in a bubble, surrounded by people but never touched?

We live in such a busy, crowded world, yet it’s so easy for many of us to go days, even weeks or months without touching or being touched by others.

While you might not notice the effects of not being touched right away, it can negatively affect your mood, your confidence and your health. We are only beginning to understand the holistic way our bodies work and the relationship between our emotional wellbeing and our physical health.

Here are 6 reasons why you need to be touched on a regular basis.

1.      Feel connected to others.

We are social beings, and although we all fall in different places on the introversion – extroversion scale, we all need to have that sense of connection to other members of our tribe. While some of that connection can come from having conversations with others, touch also plays an important role in human communication.

2.      Reduce anxiety.

Simply touching another person can make us feel more secure and less anxious. It can make us feel grounded and safe and not so all alone. It’s not just children who could use a warm, reassuring hug to make things a little better, so if you’re feeling like a bundle of nerves, go ahead and ask for a hug.

3.      Bonding.

Touch is one of the ways romantic partners bond with each other and parents bond with their children. When partners and families get busy and let touch go out the window, they’ll often find that they don’t feel as close and relationships suffer. Regular touch is one of the ways that we continually renew our bonds with those we love.

4.      Lowers your blood pressure.

Studies have shown that those that get regular touch often have lower blood pressure than those that don’t. Even having a pet can have beneficial effects! Touch can also slow the heart rate and help speed recovery times from illness and surgery.

5.      Improve your outlook.

It’s harder to get into a pessimistic funk when you feel the confidence of being connected to others. Touch can make people feel more optimistic and positive and less cynical and suspicious. A positive, trusting attitude towards others can reduce tension in our daily lives and improve our relationships.

6.      Give us the sensory input that we crave.

 Scientists are just discovering how truly important it is to exercise all our physical senses for proper brain and emotional development. All the various kinds of touch from butterfly kisses to deep tissue massage send our brains the physical inputs it needs to make sense of the world. So, along with touching other people and pets, make time to explore different textures and touch sensations such as letting cool sand run through your fingers or taking a warm relaxing bath.

Don’t let yourself get too busy that you starve yourself of touch. It’s important for your physical, mental and emotional well being to touch others and let others touch you.

When your adult child rebels

Traditionally, a parent actively raised a child until she was old enough to move out and support herself, helping to preserve a respectful relationship. Today, a changing social and economic landscape redefines the traditional hierarchy between parents and children. Disrespect from a rude adult child is difficult to address, since your child is old enough to be responsible for her own actions. Since discipline isn't an option for adult children, it's time to have a frank discussion about your changing relationship and how your child's rudeness affects you.

Step 1

Redefine your relationship with your adult child and consider how that affects your behavior toward each other. For instance, if you're in a position where your child is supporting you, your child sometimes assumes a more parental role. Don't allow your redefined relationship to lower your worth as a parent, allowing your adult child to treat you poorly. Considering the changes in your relationship helps you identify why your adult child is being rude.

Step 2

Arrange for a time to speak with your adult child. Acknowledge any changes that have altered your relationship and let your child know how his rudeness affects you. Stay calm and avoid making accusations. Instead, use "I" statements to take responsibility for your actions and emotions. Instead of saying, "You treat me badly," say, "I feel insignificant when I don't receive respect."

Step 3

Set clear expectations for behavior. Even if you rely on your adult child for support or your child has moved out and no longer answers to you, you still dictate how you're treated. Explain that you expect to be treated respectfully by everyone, especially your adult children.                                                                       Clarity helps to foster open communication between you and your adult child.

Step 4

Stop making excuses for your adult child's behavior. Telling yourself that your daughter was short with you because she's stressed at work only gives her permission to continue her rude behavior.                          Hold your child responsible for her behavior and notify her when you feel violated or hurt.

Step 5

Withdraw yourself from the relationship if the behavior continues. While you may not be able to put your adult child in time out for rudeness, you can take a time out from spending time together. Show your child that a relationship with you is no longer a necessity, but a privilege. Respect is a two-way street and you needn't continuously submit yourself to rudeness and disrespect at the hands of your own child. Return as an active contributor to the relationship once your child acknowledges his behavior, apologizes and commits to acting more respectfully in the future.

The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.

They say that when we go through mountainous trials and tribulations, we do so because we are very close to achieving something great.

Sometimes doors are closed,  before you so that you are forced to stretch out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself to reach new heights that you would otherwise not have reached for.

Your trials are there to perfect you and to shape and polish you.

If you never endure any friction then you will never reach far enough to grab the true potential you have inside of you.

These paths that life takes you on, is unique and different from anyone else, our path is always changing, like the season for season, year to year, situation by situation.

Our path is never static.

Do I want to participate in making this path in my life, many times, this walk that I have to walk on, this trial that I am forced to go through? And you feel as if you are just stuck there and there is no way out and the bloody polishing of your very nature gets stretched beyond that and you think to yourself: "can I handle this?".

I think of the story in the Bible, where the disciples of Jesus were in a storm and they thought they were going to die, then suddenly Jesus shows up.

When you least expect it – God makes an appearance. Not the way I always want it or envision it or how I want it done but He does come.

He comes in ways and means that is not always noticeable to the human eye but to the spirit of man, you know he showed up to the party.

Yes there are many sermons out there, that trials and tribulations are for:

      1-      To refine the human spirit   

      2-      To check our commitment to God       

      3-      Testing us in all areas

      4-      To testify of His person “I am”

      5-      To have a testimony

But …

I prefer to think/believe that he wants to show me how much He loves me and that I am a vessel, polished to perfection to shine His glory.

Am I facing a trial now?
 I am.

Is it easy?

No, it’s not

Do I want to get off this road I am forced to walk on?
Get me out of here now!